⚠️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

 This is a satirical performance in the style of George Carlin. Names are real. The rage is theatrical. The laughter? That’s up to you. But if you’re still defending this shit by the end, you might be the punchline.

George Says: “ADAM SCHIFF’S GOT RECEIPTS—BUT AMERICA’S STILL SHOPPING AT THE GRIFTMART”

So Adam Schiff—yeah, that guy.

 California Congressman.

 Now Senator.

 Looks like a high school principal who confiscates vape pens and then writes a 38-page memo about it.

 BUT—

 He’s smart. He’s focused. He doesn’t blink when testifying.

 And most importantly?

 He reads the Constitution. That already makes him a unicorn in a room full of GOP jackals with blood in their teeth.

Now Schiff gets on X (formerly known as Twitter, now just the sound Elon makes when he sneezes into a bong) and drops a whole thread called: “Trump’s Art of the Grift.”

 And baby, he nailed it.

You wanna know what Trump’s legacy is?

 It’s not policy.

 It’s not populism.

 It’s Profit Per Square Foot.

The man treated the White House like a Marriott Rewards program.

 Every day was Black Friday, and your tax dollars were the BOGO deal.

And Schiff? He lays out three of the biggest post-presidency rackets like he’s reading the charges at sentencing:

📌 #1: The Meme Coin

Trump launched a crypto coin—an actual cash funnel where anyone, anywhere, can send him money with no oversight. Schiff calls it “the single most corrupt, self-serving act of any President in American history.” George calls it “posting your Venmo in all caps and waiting for the bribes to roll in.”

📌 #2: The 747 “Gift”

A $400 million airplane “donated” to Trump. With one catch: the taxpayer foots the bill for all the retrofitting. It’s like someone gives you a mansion but the plumbing, the roof, the driveway, and the entire first floor are on your dime. He gets the jet. You get the invoice.

📌 #3: Starlink Deals for Tariff Relief

Elon Musk cozying up to Trump, using him to broker Starlink satellite deals with foreign countries desperate for tariff relief. Schiff says official cables “essentially lay out the quid pro quo.” Translation? You want internet? Stroke the Donald.

And let’s not forget:

January 6th.

 Because when the con doesn’t cash out cleanly, what do you do?

 You throw a riot, blame Antifa, and sell gold-plated NFTs of your mugshot.

And now?

 Now he wants back in.

 Because in Trumpworld, failure is branding, crime is content,  and treason is just Tuesday.

And Schiff? Schiff’s trying to warn us.

 He’s standing on the deck of the goddamn Titanic, yelling “ICEBERG”

 while half the passengers are trying to buy tickets for the next voyage because it comes with a red hat and a free Glock.

So here’s what George says:

 If we let this country get conned twice by the same guy—

We don’t deserve a democracy.

 We deserve a sandwich board that says

“WILL VOTE FOR FASCISM IN EXCHANGE FOR A TAX BREAK AND A BLOWJOB FROM HISTORY.”

George out.

 And if that’s too much for you, good.

 It should be.

 Because this isn’t a joke anymore.

 It’s The Art of the Fuck-You.

 And we’re all in the fine print.