⚖️ Legal Disclaimer

 This is a George Carlin-style rant. It includes historical betrayal, authoritarian bootlicking, foreign policy fraudulence, and language not safe for press conferences. If you’re here to defend it—don’t. If you’re here to scream at it—pull up a chair.

🎤 "Abandoning Ukraine: American Hypocrisy, Now with Fewer Webpages!"

 A George Carlin Rant About How We’re Handing Putin Exactly What He Wants—on Stationery

So.

 The U.S. just made Ukraine an offer.

A “peace plan,” they called it.

 Which is a fancy way of saying:

“Hey, why don’t you just give Putin everything he wants and say thank you for not being nuked?”

💣 Here’s What’s On the Table:

 Crimea? Russia gets to keep it.

• The Donbas? Sure, why not—throw in the east while you're at it.
• NATO membership? Yeah, that’s off.
• Russian troops? They get to stay right where they are, like houseguests who shit in the sink and then ask for more towels.

And in return?

We get to pretend the war is over, hang a “Mission Accomplished” banner on a pile of bombed-out Ukrainian towns, and act like we solved a problem.

That’s not a peace deal. That’s a f*ing hostage note with the word “Diplomacy” scribbled in crayon.**

📜 And What About That Thing Called the Budapest Memorandum?

 Oh, you remember that!

The agreement where Ukraine gave up the third-largest nuclear arsenal in the world in exchange for a promise:

“We will protect your sovereignty.”

Signed by the U.S.

 Signed by the U.K.

 Signed by… wait for it… RUSSIA.

And now?

Poof!

 It disappeared from U.S. government websites like a mob witness entering protection.

 No press release. No funeral. Not even a f***ing shrug.

Just gone.

 Like our credibility.

🕵️ But Wait—Didn’t We Already See This Coming?

 Oh yeah.

 Let’s talk Paul Manafort.

 Remember him?

The guy running Trump’s campaign while moonlighting as Putin’s man in Ukraine?

Yeah, he cooked up something called the Mariupol Plan—a “peace” deal that gave Russia eastern Ukraine under the guise of “autonomy,” and left the door wide open for Putin to crawl in, nuke the pantry, and redecorate the house in Soviet chic.

Sound familiar?

It should. Because the current peace offer is a goddamn remix.

Same script. New cast. Same f***ing betrayal.

💰 And Then Came the Minerals Deal—Because Why Not Sell Off the Country Too?

 Trump tried to pitch Ukraine a “deal”:

“We’ll keep sending weapons… but you give us 50% of your mineral and oil revenue.”

Fifty percent.

 Like he was buying the rights to a Marvel movie, not backing a country under siege.

That’s not foreign policy.

 That’s colonialism with a better marketing team.

🧨 Final Thought?

 This isn’t about peace.

 This is about selling out democracy in bulk, shrink-wrapped in red, white, and blue.

It’s about gaslighting the public with “ceasefires” while greenlighting territorial theft.

 It’s about erasing commitments while rewriting history.

 It’s about taking a nation that trusted us—who gave up their nukes—and saying:

“Oops. Our bad. Good luck with the next invasion.”

And the worst part?

They’ll call this “realism.”

 They’ll call this “pragmatism.”

 They’ll call it “diplomatic maturity.”

But George would’ve called it what it is:

“BULLSH*T—WITH SUBTITLES IN RUSSIAN.”